A Christmas Carol Background Check Blog (Ghost of Background Checks Future)
[Phone rings]
Ann: “Cutting Edge, this is Ann.”
Customer: “It happened again! You know, I had that crazy dream where you were Marley and I was Scrooge and I was being sued for negligent hiring and had that crazy expensive attorney representing me. Then I dreamed that I hired Tiny Tim to head up the accounting department and didn’t do a background check and he embezzled all the money.”
Ann: [thinks her client has been hitting the eggnog pretty hard]. “Thank goodness it was just a dream.”
Customer [watches snowflakes drift past his corner office window]: “Of course it was dream! We both know I wouldn’t be so foolish as to ignore your advice on pre-employment background checks. Uh oh. There’s one more night before Christmas, isn’t there? I’m gonna get visited by the ghost of background checks future, aren’t I?”
Ann: [hits “pause” on Miracle on 34th Street]: “Yup.”
Scene: Client is pouring punch for his employees in the ballroom, which is brightly decorated for the holidays. His employees are gathered round, the band is playing carols. The air is festive. He’s wearing his most elaborate ugly Christmas sweater. Tiny from accounting is handing out holiday bonus checks while wearing a Santa hat.
Customer [his cheeks glowing rosy, addresses the crowd]: “2019 has been our best year ever! I have my wonderful workforce to thank! Bonuses for everyone!”
$500/hour attorney in attendance, as a guest: “Wow Frank. Why was this year so good?”
Customer: “I hired only the best this year. We did diligent background checks, searched for criminal records, verified experience and education and driving records when we needed to do so. Productivity shot way up, morale has never been higher. I sleep well at night, I don’t worry about juries or headlines.”
$500/hour attorney in attendance, as a guest [incredulously]: Background checks? All this is due to background checks?”
Ann [smiles and lifts cup of punch in a toast]:” Of course it is. And a merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.”
