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[Phone rings] Ann: “I GOT A ROCK.” Customer [takes a beat]: “Is that from the Peanuts Halloween Special?” Ann: “Yup. Poor old Charlie Brown.” Customer: “Yeah, of course, Linus was in the pumpkin patch all night waiting for the Great Pumpkin.” Ann [turns on the fairy lights on her battery-powered Halloween sweater]: “You got time…
[Phone rings] Ann: “TRICK OR TREAT!” Customer [takes a beat]: “Still feeling festive?” Ann: “Well, yeah. Cutting Edge, Ann speaking.” Customer: “I know where you can’t tell a scary story.” Ann [takes large swallow of her pumpkin spice latte]: “Try me.” Customer: “References. Everyone can find a coupla decent references.” Ann [turns off office light,…
[Phone rings] Ann: “BOO!” Customer [takes a beat] Ann: “Sorry, feeling festive. Cutting Edge, Ann speaking.” Customer: “Are you a fan of horror movies?” Ann: “Stephen King books keep me at night.” [Believes it has nothing to do with 8 cups of coffee] Customer: “I’m feeling festive, too. Why don’t you spin us a yarn…
[Phone rings] Ann: “Cutting Edge, this is Ann.” Customer: “I’m bringin’ in some contractors, and they can’t possibly be a liability.” Ann (wonders what planet this guy came from, swallows her bran muffin): “Do tell.” Customer: “They’re gonna work offsite. They can’t take a swing at my customers and they can’t steal from their co-workers….
[Phone rings] Ann: “Cutting Edge, this is Ann.” Customer: “I have this real short-term project, and I’m gonna pick up some contractors, just for this one deal.” Ann (takes a large swallow of kale juice): “How many of your daughter’s college roommates are you going to hire?” Customer: “HEY—how did you know. . .” Ann…
[Phone rings] Ann: “Cutting Edge, this is Ann.” Customer: “I have this real high-end project, and I’m gonna pick up some contractors for this deal.” Ann (wonders if Phillip Marlow got his start this way): “Wow. Sounds fancy!” Customer: “Darn tootin’! And if this job works out for this customer, I expect there will be…
[Phone rings] Ann: “Cutting Edge, this is Ann.” Customer: “So, I gotta guy. . .actually, several guys. . .” Ann (pours yesterday’s coffee into cup, microwaves for a minute): “Mmmmm-hmmmmm.” Customer: “They don’t, per se, work for me. They’re independent contractors.” Ann (smells coffee, decides it’s good enough for a Tuesday): “Mmmmm-hmmmmm.” Customer: “So, I…
Ann: “Cutting Edge, this is Ann.” Customer: “I’ve enjoyed tripping down the ivy halls with you this past month.” Ann (thinks fondly back on her salad days): “Thanks! I hope you start doing education verifications.” Customer: “We will. . .I can’t believe I mighta gotten took. Tell me I’m not alone.” Ann (tilts head like…
Ann: “Cutting Edge, this is Ann.” Customer: “I have a great applicant. They got a master’s degree from Whitehall Accordia University.” Ann (never heard of Whitehall Accordia and after 23 years in the business I’ve heard of most of them): “I’d verify that, just to be sure.” Customer: “I already did. I called the registrar…
Ann: “Cutting Edge, this is Ann.” Customer: “It seems like a lot of trouble to verify education. I’m just going to have applicants bring in their diploma or transcript.” Ann (been down this road): “Mmmmmm hmmmmmm. Ever heard of Adobe? Or cut-and-paste?” Customer: “You are really suspicious.” Ann (wonders why the mail is late. Could…
Hiring employees in today’s world can be challenging in many ways. With these simple tips and guidelines, you can learn how to avoid toxic workers in a #MeToo, High-Tech, Active Shooter, Headlines, Juries and Ban the Box world.